It's a Sunday afternoon and you make a commitment to yourself:
- I'm going to go to the gym 5 days this week.
- Cut out sugar and fried foods.
- Loose 5kgs before Summer.
You are feeling good about the goals and can vision the outcomes perfectly. However Wednesday rolls around, you have only made it to the gym once so far. And as you sit there eating lunch with friends you look down only to realise you have just eaten a McDonald's Big Mac and had a soft serve for dessert.
Suddenly the feelings of being a failure, not good enough, and being frustrated at yourself start to hit in. "Why do I do this to myself you think?"
We have all been in this place before.... confused about why we keep sabotaging what we want.
In my experience self sabotage can come down to the following things:
- Fear of change - The fear of unfamiliarity can sometimes be overwhelming to our subconscious mind. It wants us to stay safe and stick to what it knows best.
- Not a compelling enough 'WHY' - Why you want to achieve something is what drives us. If the 'WHY' of what you want to achieve is not a strong enough reason you may not get there.
- Too big, too fast - It's the all or nothing mentality. Some people can do it and achieve goals this way. But 90% of us can not. We need to set small achievable goals and build on this week to week. I am such a big believer in this and teach exactly this in my Be Well Program.
Self sabotaging behaviour is often thought of as lacking motivation or will power. But I think a large part of it comes down to the limiting believes we have about ourselves. Your self image will limit what you can achieve. It will ensure you to keep repeating the same self sabotaging behaviours, because it wants to keep you in line with what you believe.
When working with clients from my Be Well Program - exercise, nutrition, and lifestyle are essential aspects to help one achieving their health and wellness goals. But as well as these we always work on self image or what I like to call self love. Underlying and addressing how self image drives your behaviour will help you create new habits that will intern help you achieve lasting results and finally hit your health and life goals.
Good luck Free Birds.